Waltz with Bashir

I'm too old to have been caught up in the recent phenomenon of graphic novels. I read about their popularity and the serious subjects they dealt with, the critical discussions they generated. Its just not a form I was familiar enough to turn to when looking for reading material. I guess Persepolis changed this a little bit but not really. Graphic novels and animation were still Spiderman and Bugs Bunny. The movie I saw yesterday has rather brutally brought me up to date. The animated feature Waltz with Bashir about a soldier's search for his memory is a tour de force of storytelling and art. I won't try to summarize it, just highly recommend it.

Finally....

I rose early for a day off: 5:00 AM. I walked over to Annie's to get a cup of coffee and it was crowded. Not with the denizens of our many gay bars but sober people, bundled for cold and excited to get going. I went back home changed into my LL Bean long underwear (purchased specifically for this day) and headed out. How was I going to cross the parade route to get to my entrance on the other side of the Mall? I took a cab around behind the Supreme Court Building and the driver dropped me by the Capitol South Metro stop. The crowds were already immense and overwhelming but I slowly made my way to a spot above the 3rd street tunnel. There was a line of people going into the tunnel and we yelled down, "What ticket line are you?" and they yelled back "Purple"(a very exclusive ticket). We would find out later that these poor souls would never get to see the Inauguration from their privileged perch. They had been told to stand in line but it was a line to nowhere and no one came to let them in. I had a silver ticket (much less exclusive) and after standing in a cold breeze, cheek to cheek with hundreds of others, I entered the Mall. The crowd size was like nothing Washington has ever seen since I've lived here (20 years). Crowd estimates are a little parlor game here but it was the biggest I've ever seen and I've been here for many 4th of Julys and protests. Everyone seemed to be from out of town. They simply HAD to be here for this great event. I live a dozen blocks from where I was standing but I had to be here too. When Obama's face first appeared on the Jumbotron, people cheered like crazy. It was going to happen and shortly. The crowd was fairly respectful towards Bush and Cheney considering what they were leaving behind and what they had done to our country. The music was beautiful. The biggest laugh was when the announcement was made to "please be seated". The million plus crowd who had been standing there for hours and hours, let out a collective laugh. After the Oath, euphoria. I'm usually not a fan of crowds but it was a celebration of what we can do, how far we've come and a commitment to move forward and to preserve American ideals. We can choose courage rather than fear. The financial crisis has the potential to tear at the fabric of our society (I've got mine, f*** you buddy!!) but I'm hopeful we're better than that and this man will lead us in a better direction. This man is just a man, he's not a savior. We have no right to put that on him. If he fails or stumbles, we've failed or stumbled. We lost our way for a minute. We were in a dark place, we can't go back there. I think in the years ahead we'll shake our heads in disbelief that our government was torturing people and that we cared so little that we elected leaders that violated their oath to "protect and defend the Constitution". Its over for the moment but we have an obligation to be vigilant in holding our elected officials accountable. We were sleeping on Bush and Cheney and Rumsfeld and Addington and Gonzalez and "Brownie" and Rove. They took advantage of our consumption driven lethargy and our post 9-11 fear. America has a knack for getting serious when it needs to and electing great leaders: Lincoln, FDR, and .... I know, I know, thats too much to put on him. It was a beautiful day.

Greatest Stadium Ever...

Okay so some friends in high places gave me a couple of tickets to their seats at the new Nationals stadium and I have to admit it was great. We sat right behind the tarp on the first base side (pictured left during the Braves 4:30 PM game) and the seats in the lower bowl are clearly better than RFK and when you get food you can still watch the action on the field. It still won't be the casual "I think I'll go down to the stadium tonight" place that RFK was for me but if I get good seats, it'll still be fun. It is confirmation of what I said though: seats for rich people are better and seats for the less prosperous fan are worse. I still miss RFK but I can live with the new stadium. I do appreciate all the nice comments from my fellow Nats fans. They're starting to hit their stride and the season should be fun.

Oh Well...The New Nationals Ballpark

For the past three years I've been spending a lot of time at Washington Nationals games. When my spouse was deployed overseas, it was a great diversion to the stress and worry that accompanied that experience. After we separated, it continued to provide that feeling to me. The games at RFK stadium were never sold out, most nights there were 40,000 empty seats. There were thousands of $5 tickets available and you could move to a $20 seat with ease. A family of four could take the kids to see a professional sporting event and get some food for under $50. Obviously the clock was ticking on this arrangement, middle class people and lower middle class people would need to be excluded in the name of revenue generation. Last weekend the new Nationals ballpark was unveiled for the national opener (Boston had already opened the season in Japan). It got great reviews (more food offerings!! fans closer to the field!!, broader concourses!!). They still have $5 tickets but only a few hundred. Fans in the cheap seats are actually further away but rich fans are in fact closer to the field. Two stories of corporate luxury boxes are stacked beneath the cheap seats. Completely predictable but still disappointing to see this manifestation in person. I'll go to some games, but the park won't be the refuge that the old ballpark was for me. In all the hoopla, nobody will stop to think what was lost.

Relationships and Forgiveness

When someone who once loved you now hates you it elicits a strange sensation. For me this is the first time I have ever experienced it. To be clear, we're talking about HATE not annoyance or some type of silly male competition type thing. My soon to be be ex-wife hates me and has tried to destroy the relationships in the world that I value most: those with my step kids and grandkids. This photograph, to me, seems to be the antithesis of hate. I guess dealing with this hatred will be one of the things I'll be considering as my forgiveness group discusses that topic over the course of the rest of the month. Also, I just love this photograph and have been looking for a place to use it.

Stepparenting and Forgiveness

This week I started a four week course on Forgiveness at the local Jewish Community Center. The program uses the film The Power of Forgiveness, about the Amish community's reaction to the school house murders a few years ago, as a starting point for the weekly discussions. My experience with forgiveness is central to my life as a stepparent. I love my stepkids but my stepdaughter had a lot of difficulties in adolescence and a lot of this behavior was destructive and disruptive toward our relationship and toward our family. Because I loved her though, anger could never take root. I spontaneously forgave her as she was inflicting pain on our lives and on her own life. This wasn't a matter of self interest or deliberation for me, it was spontaneous. Could I get to the point where I would forgive someone I don't love? Can our larger community get to a point where it emulates the Amish community? The questions are difficult ones and its interesting that the discussion is taking place at the JCC. The Amish idea of forgiveness is to forgive and forget and not to argue with God. Many in the Jewish community have vowed never to forget. Can you get angry with God? A dear Christian friend says you can and she does. I'm looking forward to the next three weeks. Shalom.

Establishing Yourself

You've married their mother, you've moved in to their house and now how to get yourself established as a member of the family? Your new spouse will tell them "He's part of the family" but that is meaningless. First, be kind. My parents weren't divorced so I never had a stranger move into my house. They're scared. What will change? What will he do or try to make us do? What have we been doing that he won't let us do anymore? Tread lightly. Take some interest in what they find interesting even if its dreadful MTV reality shows or inane hip hop music. I did and found out that I like a lot of hip hop music and that my stepson had pretty high standards for what he listened to. He thought "Bling" or "gangster" rap was ridiculous and he liked the story telling of underground hip hop. My stepdaughter and I would watch MTV reality shows and talk about the characters but we were really talking to each other. It was our main form of communication during the mid teen years. She was to have her struggles later on but when she did, we had a history of communication and, as ridiculous as it seems, it was established watching moronic college aged kids try to live together in luxurious apartments in cool places on MTV's Real World. Also, take time with each child, one on one, as much as possible. I use to always tuck in my stepson when he was small. A quick "goodnight" and a kiss on the forehead is a better way to establish yourself than some arbitrary rules. They're scared and, if you have any sense, you are too. I know I was.