Establishing Yourself

You've married their mother, you've moved in to their house and now how to get yourself established as a member of the family? Your new spouse will tell them "He's part of the family" but that is meaningless. First, be kind. My parents weren't divorced so I never had a stranger move into my house. They're scared. What will change? What will he do or try to make us do? What have we been doing that he won't let us do anymore? Tread lightly. Take some interest in what they find interesting even if its dreadful MTV reality shows or inane hip hop music. I did and found out that I like a lot of hip hop music and that my stepson had pretty high standards for what he listened to. He thought "Bling" or "gangster" rap was ridiculous and he liked the story telling of underground hip hop. My stepdaughter and I would watch MTV reality shows and talk about the characters but we were really talking to each other. It was our main form of communication during the mid teen years. She was to have her struggles later on but when she did, we had a history of communication and, as ridiculous as it seems, it was established watching moronic college aged kids try to live together in luxurious apartments in cool places on MTV's Real World. Also, take time with each child, one on one, as much as possible. I use to always tuck in my stepson when he was small. A quick "goodnight" and a kiss on the forehead is a better way to establish yourself than some arbitrary rules. They're scared and, if you have any sense, you are too. I know I was.